Catastrophe
by Damned Caeli
Summary: For some reason ALucard turned into a cat, how will Integra react?! Or will she ever know? Pls. Review!!!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own HELLSING, simple as that. Pls. don't sue me.  
  
Caeli's Blah: This fic is for ANGIE, ALUCARD, SOULS DAWN and TELEUTE. Please accept my humble gift as a form of gratitude for the inspiration and reviews you guys bestowed upon poor lil old me.  
  
  
  
  
  
CAT-astrophe  
  
  
  
  
  
Alucard paced around his chamber briskly. He went from one end of the room to the other, his crimson eyes narrowed as he tried to settle in his own terms the confrontation with his Master. In mid-step he stopped and sat down on the floor, he winced as his ass felt the coldness and the hardness of it.  
  
Hurriedly, he stood up and gracefully hopped over his coffin bed and stared at his discarded clothes on the floor. The scarlet cloak looked like a shapeless mass on the floor alongside his pants and boots. Hell, he maybe a vampire but he isn't a slob and seeing his room with clothes scattered about irritates him.  
  
  
  
"What to do?" He murmured his voice barely audible. As he sulked, his black tail swished to and fro madly signaling the growing frustration building upon him.  
  
  
  
"Ah, what the heck, I'll just go to her and tell her or something." He muttered jumping down from the bed and penetrating through the walls straight to his master's bedroom.  
  
  
  
"But how am I going to start?" He asked.  
  
  
  
His brain provided him no answer.  
  
  
  
He shrugged, "Maybe I'll just be blunt and say, Master I've turned into a cat."  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
He painstakingly waited for his Master's arrival. Sounds of running water from the bathroom indicated the activity that Integra is currently in. His whiskers twitched as his desire to steal a peak, just a tiny itsy bitsy tiny peak intensified with each second. What would his Master look like naked? Oh well not that he hadn't seen her but it was years ago and he still hasn't been given the opportunity to see her wet.  
  
  
  
The black cat licked his lips and in its catlike walk, he approached the bathroom in tiny and apprehensive steps. "Just one peak, nothing more." He promised himself. He was mere inches and he already smelled Integra's favorite soap and shampoo lingered with the perfume that she often used.  
  
  
  
He imagined water sensuously pouring down that dusky skin of hers, her hair clinging to her concealing her breasts from his lustful stares. AH, he would definitely steal a peak, come hell or high waters.  
  
  
  
The cat or rather Alucard slid inside the slight ajar door and braced himself for that heavenly sight he was about to see. Slowly he lifted his eyes to see his master his beautiful master -  
  
  
  
Dressed in her bathrobe with white froth hanging off her mouth. She paused from the vigorous brushing off her teeth and spat out the toothpaste along with the remnants of dinner on the sink She stared at the mirror bared her whole set of front teeth to check if there is something stuck in between her pearly-whites. Finding none, she washed her toothbrush and placed it back to its container by the sink.  
  
  
  
For how long Alucard stood there he didn't know but he realized that he had been paralyzed by sheer disappointment too long when a bedroom slipper, Integra's to be exact hit him squarely on the face.  
  
  
  
"Why is there a cat in my room?" Integra asked angrily, aiming to hit Alucard with the other slipper.  
  
Alucard, on the other hand was caught between feelings of regret and anger, "What a shame, I have not seen her naked. I HAVE NOT SEEN HER NAKED!" These were his thoughts before the other pair of the slipper that hit him seconds ago slammed into his head.  
  
  
  
"Get out! You furball!"  
  
  
  
~*  
  
Notes:  
  
Alucard just turned into a cat for some freaky reason that I will (or probably won't) state later in the coming chapters. Thanks for some reading and oh some notes to some people that I really wanted to thank -  
  
Alucard, I don't know where I get my ideas ^-^ Ok, maybe it helps not listening to your rusty old math professor and just focusing your mind to the endless possibilities of writing a fic - yeah that may be it. *grumbles* Hmph! No wonder I have barely passing grades.  
  
  
  
Angie, to tell you the truth your fic inspired me to write. Yeah, I am so much of an amateur.  
  
  
  
Souls Dawn, Thanks for the wonderful reviews *throws sloppy kisses into the air* I promise to write more. 


	2. Strokes of Doom

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing but someday I will make a vampire-related anime and I will definitely make it the best in the world.  
  
Integra: *snicker* Dream on.  
  
  
  
CAT-astrophe  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Get out! You fur ball!"  
  
  
  
The second slipper landed smack into his head. He suddenly jerked his gaze up and saw Integra charging after him. Quick as lightning, he dashed out of the bathroom wanting madly to escape the wrath of his master.  
  
  
  
"Come back!"  
  
  
  
Alucard frowned, "What the- A second ago she wanted me out and a scant second later she wants me to stay but I am running! You won't get your hands on me!" He vowed as he dove for safety underneath Integra's massive four-poster bed.  
  
  
  
His Master on the other hand was spitting fire. She looked around in frustration. That cat can sure run fast, one second he seemed ogling at her and the next he disappeared. But he is still in this room, she was sure of that.  
  
  
  
Integra fumbled for her glasses she slipped inside the pocket of her robe. Hurriedly, she wore them and began her furious search for the furry invader. It's not that she hates at, it's just that it annoyed her knowing that - Integra frowned, she couldn't find any reason at all why she suddenly jumped at the cat like that.  
  
  
  
Then she remembered.  
  
  
  
It was the way the cat was looking at her. As she was brushing her teeth, she felt the heavy gaze penetrating within her, the same effect that Alucard has in her when he watches her concealed by the shadows.  
  
  
  
That incomprehensible look on the cat's crimson eyes was the exact duplicate of Hellsing's top agent expression. She shuddered at the thought of having another being that exists with that same power over her and she will exterminate it in no time at all.  
  
  
  
Her bedroom slippers made some soft rustling sounds as she made her way towards her drawer where she kept her gun and her bullets. With the precision of a professional she unloaded some bullets however due to the thoughts running inside her head one bullet fell and rolled over underneath her bed.  
  
Without a thought she got to her knees in her bathrobe and peeked at the darkness of her bed. She found a pair of crimson eyes blinking back at her or rather at her cleavage that has been conspicuously displaying itself underneath her bathrobe.  
  
  
  
"Why you-?" Integra suddenly lunged forward, never mind if she just took a bath, She dove underneath the bed and grabbed that loathsome creature. Her hands gripped its four limbs and almost manically pulled it out from its hiding place while the poor creature which was Alucard screeched and tried futile clawing at his enraged master.  
  
  
  
There was much struggle between the two as Integra tried to reach for her gun but the cat or rather Alucard each time sensing the loosening of the grip would twist around like crazy. Integra has no choice but to torture the creature with her bare hands.  
  
  
  
She lifted thrashing Alucard into the bed and dumped him there to pin him down. The Silence accompanied by Integra's laborious breathing were the only sounds that could be heard, the cat unusually fell silent.  
  
  
  
Why? ALucard was now enjoying a very delectable view of his aggravated master. Who could resist an Integra after a bath with her long blonde locks hanging sensuously around her face, that bathrobe that now hung loosely on her shoulders due to their battle earlier.  
  
Alucard's mouth watered, one more slip of that material and she would see his master in all her glory. Integra on the other hand seeing the cat's sudden change in attitude loosened her grip, wrath forgotten.  
  
  
  
"Perhaps I misjudged you." She found herself saying. The creature after all doesn't look harmful. It was actually a very beautiful black cat with sleek shiny fur and exquisite features almost strangely human. Integra fingered the cat's neck looking for a pet tag thinking that no street cats could be as beautiful as this one she was pinning down.  
  
  
  
With that contact, Alucard purred. His eyes narrowed into slits and he began to rub the side of his face on his master's hand. Seeing this, Integra fondled the more, this time rubbing on the most sensitive areas she knew cats loved.  
  
  
  
"Ahh, heaven." ALucard said to himself. He never thought that his master's touches could be so pleasurable. A person who hold's a gun should have strong grip and each flex of the muscles ought to be with a pressure. His master on the other hand was almost kneading through him making him insides turn buttery.  
  
  
  
"You know you really are much like that ALucard" 


	3. Smart

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing, nuff said.  
  
  
  
Catastrophe  
  
  
  
"You know, you really look much like Alucard."  
  
At this, Alucard's ears perked up. Oh yeah, he was supposed to tell his master about his situation. Damn his master's hands, it kept him so preoccupied that for some minutes he forgot who he was.  
  
Reluctantly, he released himself from his master's embrace. Integra's brow raised, the cat after acting like a wanton turned to something of a serious preen cat.  
  
  
  
Alucard with his sleek and shiny coat sat back on the desk facing Integra. He sure can't talk, what should he do? Then he had an idea - charade!  
  
  
  
He looked down on his front paws trying to organize in his mind what gestures to give her. "More difficult than I thought," He muttered but all came out from him was a mournful cat meow.  
  
  
  
"What is it? Are you hungry?" Integra asked, frowning.  
  
  
  
Alucard shook his head, Integra almost toppled off the bed.  
  
  
  
"You shook your head?"  
  
  
  
Alucard nodded.  
  
  
  
"Really?"  
  
  
  
Another nod.  
  
Integra scooped the cat into her arms and stared at it with wonder. The world sure is full of surprises. How convenient to have a cat that can truly comprehend you but still she tested it once again just to make sure.  
  
"Is my hair blonde?" She asked, anxious for his reply.  
  
  
  
ALucard's little black head bobbed up and down in an eager answer. Integra grinned, this cat is sure is smart. "Ok, I'll keep you."  
  
Alucard wanted to whooped with joy but in a cat's body he ended up meowing loudly.  
  
"You need a bath." Integra suddenly blurted when ALucard's smell assaulted her nostrils.  
  
  
  
Alucard screeched in protest. 


	4. BATH TIME!

Disclaimer: Hellsing is not mine, I am just using it for my own demented nonsensical writing.  
  
Author's Blah: Sorry took so long to update this one, but this chapter is kinda short cause I inserted the Christmas fic that I made. I never had the chance to post it so I am taking this opp to do so. Hope you will enjoy the two new chapters plus, the post Christmas fic.  
  
For Bloodhound and Pishie Poo.  
  
  
  
CAT-astrophe  
  
  
  
Alucard was chilled to the bone. His master inconsiderately dunked him into an icy tub and soaped him roughly as if he was a piece of mat rather than a living and breathing creature. He licked his fur and tasted soap. He blanched and stuck out his tongue, meowing helplessly at his predicament.  
  
  
  
"I don't like smelly cats." Integra pointed out, aiming a hair dryer straight into his face. He backed away, even with that dryer she still looked like she was holding a gun then an unexpected thing happen.  
  
  
  
A loud ringing sound almost split his head open. The loud noise of the hair dryer was too much for his overly sensitive cat's ears. He was about to run and escape the annoying sound when Integra's hand slammed down on his semi- wet body completely trapping him.  
  
After some hellish minutes, he happened to glance at the dresser nearby and saw his puffy furball reflection on his mirror, he smirked even as a cat he still is cute.  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
  
  
Integra's Gift  
  
  
  
The meeting is boring the hell out of me.  
  
I glanced at them, crusty old gentlemen who can't seem to get their opinion straight. The supposedly 'urgent' meeting was just some talk about the success of the elimination of the ghouls that wreaked havoc for the past 12 months.  
  
I looked at them once again, gutless bastards hiding behind dignified expressions and expensive suits. Weren't they the same guys who cowered and panicked in fear when the Valentine Brothers attacked Hellsing?  
  
At times like this, I wished that I were back at the mansion locked up in my office or just practice my shooting skills using a moving target a.k.a Alucard. I'd rather be taunted or over working my self than practicing my grace and social skills with these spineless men.  
  
I often wondered, if father enjoyed these kinds of meetings? Did he laugh along with them or scorn them just like me?  
  
An unsuppressed yawn escaped my lips, earning another round of disapproving look among the 'crusty' generation, as Alucard put it. I could almost sense the long line of displeasured thoughts running through their small brains about me and how different things should have been if someone male and 'competent' should- ah! To hell with them. I politely excused myself from their meeting and just decided to go home.  
  
  
  
Outside, the place was blanketed with pure white snow, a perfect contrast with the velvety night sky and I couldn't help but mesmerize about the happier times when my Father and I play around the snow, building snow mans and throwing snowballs at each other.  
  
  
  
But it's all in the past now, my childhood and normal life died along with my Father. I don't hate him for handing me this responsibility, in fact I felt proud trusting me enough at such a young age to handle such tasks but then, I just can't help but think of what things might have been or could have been.  
  
  
  
I climbed inside the car and gave brief instructions to the driver to get me back to Hellsing as soon as possible. As the car drove past the snow -covered roads I looked at my watch, it was 2:30 in the morning already. Christmas.  
  
I pictured everyone back home, wearing Santa outfits and handing everyone gifts underneath the massive tree that Walter chose to grace the receiving area of the Hellsing mansion. I even imagined Alucard wearing a Santa outfit with a small protruding belly made out of my pillows (I've been noticing my pillows disappearing one after another). I caught him after all dragging along a red fabric to his room. I imagined them greeting me just as I stepped out of the car with loads of gifts and cheerful grins on their faces.  
  
Yes, it might seem totally out of character for such a frosty person such as myself but I do wish for these sometimes, I wished for companionship and laughter. I sometimes welcome Alucard's whining and pathetic jokes just because - just because - I don't know. There's no actual reason.  
  
But to my dismay, no one was there to welcome me. I remembered then and there as I stood shivering outside the massive front door of Hellsing Mansion that I 'ordered' everyone to be off for the holidays. Even Walter.  
  
  
  
I went inside closing the door behind me as soundlessly as I can and went straight to the lighted Christmas tree. I needed something to remind of the holidays, of the times when I could welcome Christmas like any other normal and happy person.  
  
My shoes echoed as I approached the beautiful Christmas tree that the whole Hellsing staff decorated. Kneeling down, my hands traveled along the many gifts piled underneath he Christmas tree.  
  
Will I get what I want for Christmas?  
  
I remembered a few days ago when Alucard asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I blatantly told him that I wanted the world rid of stupid vampires like him. At my answer he just frowned and said that I needed something more of a companion.  
  
Maybe he's right. Maybe I indeed need someone.  
  
  
  
Just when I was about to turn back and go upstairs, I noticed a very,very huge red sock hanging on the side of the fireplace.  
  
Grimly, I approached the lumpy sock and as I got nearer I realized that the sock was labeled with my name, embroidered actually. My stomach turned, is this some kind of sick joke? What will I find inside? A body? Heads? A bunch of organs mashed together?  
  
  
  
Carefully, I peered inside with a gun at hand. I almost screamed when a pair of red eyes blinked back at me. I backed away just as Alucard's head popped out of the sock, "Merry Christmas Master! Why are you late?"  
  
  
  
"You- you- you scared me!" I panted out placing a hand over my thudding heart.  
  
"I did? I was kind of hoping you would like it. I know you are expecting me in a Santa Claus suit and so I just decided to be a gift, a sock precisely only for your enjoyment, Master." He said with that trademark smirk of his.  
  
  
  
I want to kill him. No, I will kill him. I'll dismember Alucard with my own bare hands!I thought angrily but a part of me actually enjoyed it.  
  
  
  
Just when I was about to lecture him, I noticed something falling towards me. Instinctively, I grabbed it. I swear I could have dropped it or avoided it if I knew what it was.  
  
  
  
My gloved fist closed around something green and red, something of a pathetic excuse for romantic notions.  
  
ALucard's voice strained my ears, "Master, is that what I think you are holding above your head?" He asked before lounging towards me.  
  
  
  
To my horror, I noticed too late what it was, a mistletoe.  
  
  
  
Even before I could react, ALucard's arms wrapped around my body and as his lips descended over mine for a kiss, his face was kind, almost angelic.  
  
  
  
"Merry Christmas, Master." 


End file.
